This week has been challenging. From atomic design to Bootstrap, to higher level analysis of Javascript and state, this week has thrown an enormous amount of fresh content and higher level problem solving and analysis that I am used to. In many ways, I felt successful this week. I worked hard, often working late after my wife had gone to sleep. I took avid notes and tried to complete as much as I could apart from resources like Google and Stack Overflow. Yet, I recognize my lack of competence. The more I study Javascript, the more aware I am of my own shortcomings. Solving simple if/else statements in codewars can be a great confidence booster, until you click on a random one on a Friday night and am blown away by the intricacies of it all. I have so much to learn, and I feel there is not enough time in the bootcamp (or the day, for that matter) to understand it all. Ultimately, time has helped me back. Time and my own lack of awareness.
When things grew challenging as a teacher (which occurred frequently), administration would always echo the same phrase: “Remember your why”. It is a cheesy statement that often lost its power with me. But in the bootcamp, things are different. Remembering why I started this journey in the first place is crucial to finishing it. I want a better life. For myself, my wife, our future kids (Lord willing), and more. I want a job that doesn’t make me go home physically and emotionally exhausted from all the secondary trauma I’d undergone. I want a career that is respected, where I can always learn more and push myself to be the best I can be. I feel software development can give me that life. I know the content is immensely challenging, the time constraints overwhelming, the pressure to get a job mounting. But I know why. I know why I must continue to push. Why must I continue to learn, to grow, to stay up late studying, to spend my weekends writing and reviewing. It’s all for the life I hope to have, and soon.
The next week of the Bootcamp can’t come soon enough. I am excited to continue advancing in my comprehension of Javascript, as well as further analyzing Bootstrap and its many capabilities. I am most eager to continue learning JavaScript functions and objects, as they are so powerful and dynamic in what they can do. I’ve been blown away by the functionality of Javascript: being able to create beautiful games like Hangman with a click, or remembering the state of an object halfway through a silly mind-reader game. It is powerful, and I want to know more about what it can do. I love the intricacies of it all, how a simple button click function can awaken a beautiful slide presentation. Or how a render function can be iterated a thousand different ways. Truly remarkable! Time to press on, to keep learning, to keep persevering. When the weeks get challenging, remember your why.